It's my third week of summer and I don't know how that happened. First week was UT orientation and it was so great and I got so stoked and met new friends. And last week, I spent a good portion of it taking my room down and putting stuff in boxes so it could be staged because we're trying to sell our house. I've been trying to get a job and no one is hiring and the people that are hiring are so scatterbrained and disorganized about it that I might not even get a paycheck until mid July.
On top of that, I feel so angsty and sooo lonely. All of the friends that I retained at the end of graduation are on vacation or about to go, or just busy. My best friend and I were going to spend this summer together doing all the things we've wanted to do, but between her job and her vacation and my eventual job (maybe) and then band camp for her in August, we have barely any time. My brother and I are staying at my dad's house for a month. I feel like I have to schedule these hypothetical work hours and these hypothetical lunch dates and movies, etc., around family bonding time because I know I'm leaving in August, but my brother plays video games all day and only leaves the house when I take him to Best Buy and my dad gets home and goes on a jog and then plays World of Tanks with his friends on Skype, just like my brother. I feel lonely, unemployed and I feel like I'm wasting my summer.
I've been wanting to start Rosetta Stone for Arabic since I installed it on my laptop, but I figured I would do it this summer and I haven't opened it once. I took a ballet class at my old studio yesterday and it was amazing and I felt wonderful. I went and helped little kids play the violin and got to chill with some cool old orchestra bros and that was so fun. I go and have lunch with my best friend, which brightens my day exponentially. But if I just sit at home, thinking I have plenty to do to be productive, I inevitably end up wanting to lay on the floor and cry. And today I did, and my dad made me feel stupid and I feel stupid and angsty and I just asdfahlwrek
I can totally relate. I have more hypothetical dates than actual events. Many of my friends have already had to 'reschedule' but then they don't contact me, or agree to hang out on a certain day, but then I guess leave it to me to keep asking them if they can do it, which is annoying and I won't do it.
ReplyDeleteI've been out of school for a month now and I feel like I haven't really done a lot. I need to start cleaning out my room, too.
Woo UT! I have a handful of friends that are going there/currently going there! It'd be so cool if you randomly ran into one of them (PS If you meet anyone from Longview see if they know me!).
ReplyDeleteAlso, I sort of understand how you feel. I haven't really been able to hang out with my friends due to conflicting schedules, but I'm so busy either working out, or being tired from working out to actually notice.